Toxic Positivity

It seems like everyone is so positive these days. Just take a quick scroll through your social media and you are sure to stumble across some posts about positive vibes, outlooks and attitudes. #Blessed. While being positive and upbeat can be necessary and important at times, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. It's also important and totally okay to take the time to feel your difficult feelings too.

"Toxic positivity" is a concept that occurs when you only stay positive and feel like it's the only way to live your life. It's when you focus only on the positive things while rejecting anything that might trigger negative feelings. But isn't that how you are supposed to live? Silver lining and all of that? Well yes, but also, not exactly.

When you block or avoid your negative emotions, you actually make them bigger. Since you are avoiding them, you are essentially telling yourself that you don't have to pay attention to them. When you are trapped in this unhealthy cycle, these negative emotions become bigger and more significant while they are left unprocessed. You cannot sustain this approach. We cannot program ourselves to only feel happy. We are humans after all, not robots.

By avoiding tough emotions, you are missing out on valuable information. For example, when we are scared, our emotions are telling us to be extra mindful of our surroundings. Emotions are bits of information. They let us know what is going on at any given moment, but they don't tell us how to proceed or react.

People who ignore negative emotions give other people the impression that they don't have any. It makes them seem like their lives are perfect, which makes them less approachable and relatable to others. Just imagine trying to have a conversation with someone who ignores sadness and anxiety. It might be super upbeat, but also probably a little annoying.

Instead, accept difficult emotions. It will help you to cope with the feelings and decreases their intensity. Get everything off your chest in an emotional way. Addressing negative feelings head on is like lifting a huge weight off of your shoulders. And while it may be harder to do than pretending that everything is just fine, it will be worth it in the long run.

Stop thinking of your emotions as "good" or "bad." They are more like guides that help us to make sense of things. They also help us to convey information to others around us. For example, if you are sad and you are embracing that emotion, it will show. Your emotion will alert those around you that you are in need of comfort.

So while looking on the bright side of things is beneficial sometimes, it is equally as important to also acknowledge and really listen to all of our emotions. Yes, even the unpleasant ones. Do you have any idea how exhausting it is to be a ray of sunshine all of the time? Humans weren't built for that. Take the time to pay attention and embrace all of your feelings as they come. You will not only gain insight into yourself, but into others around you. #RealLife.