Let's Talk About Suicide
Suicide is a tough topic for me to address. Mainly because I still carry around so much shame from my suicide attempt in early 2013. But while I rationally know that feeling that shame is unwarranted, it is unstoppable. We as a society have ourselves to blame. We created the stigma surrounding mental health and suicide. The feeling of not being able to reach out for help, or tell someone how you really feel, will never end until the stigma is totally gone.
Whenever I find out that someone has passed because of suicide I really feel it. It doesn't matter if I know that person personally or not. I am immediately transported back to that super dark era of my life. When you are suicidal you truly believe with all of your being that you are worthless and that everyone you know would be better off if you weren't around. You feel hopeless and out of options. You are exhausted and cannot bear to face another day. You also have absolutely no control over these horrible feelings that just cycle around in your head, on repeat, all day everyday. It is an incredibly frightening place to be, and having been there, hearing that another human has succumbed to their vile inner demons makes my heart break in to a million pieces.
To the people who say, "you'll feel better tomorrow." Or, "why can't you just snap out of it?" I want to say this to you. You can fuck right off. You are not being helpful. Seriously. What you are actually doing is making that person that you are trying to "help" feel like a failure for not being able to "just snap out of it." To imply that someone can do something but just won't is just so super judgmental and not the right way to approach your friend/relative/co-worker who is walking around lost, vulnerable and really hurting.
The stigma needs to go. If there was no stigma maybe people who feel this hopeless would feel safe sharing their thoughts, fears and feelings with someone who could help them. But the tough thing about being suicidal is that you just don't care anymore and you certainly don't want any help. They are most likely not going to reach out to you. So if you know someone who is depressed and suicidal, or if you think someone you know is depressed and suicidal, or if you are just a kind person in the world who wants to arm themselves with the knowledge they need to face that situation in a positive way if they ever face it, educate yourself. Educate yourself on suicide, how it feels to be suicidal, warning signs and how you can help. Don't be judgmental, angry or frustrated. And always remember that mental illness is just that, an illness. A medical condition that those afflicted did not bring on themselves. A medical condition that requires professional medical treatment in order to get better. They are not weak, just sad or being dramatic. Please, please educate yourself. I will include some links to a few fantastic organizations for suicide prevention and suicide survivors. Start there and let it take you where you need to go so that you can be fully armed with actual facts and things you can do that can may actually help.
The memory of living through suicide will haunt me forever. And while the physical scars have healed, they will never totally disappear. But I am so thankful that I am here typing this today. With professional help, medication and a warm and loving support system of friends and family, my feelings of worthlessness and despair have become much more quiet. I actually look forward to living to see the next day.
If you are someone who needs help or if you know someone who needs help please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
Here are the links to some really great organizations.
Suicide Prevention Lifeline #BeThe1To
International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP)
Resources for suicide attempt survivors on the IASP
If you are someone considering suicide please know that you are not alone, you are important and help is available to you. No one will judge you and it IS possible to feel better. Please reach out to someone you trust or this hotline to start your journey of healing.
RIP
Whenever I find out that someone has passed because of suicide I really feel it. It doesn't matter if I know that person personally or not. I am immediately transported back to that super dark era of my life. When you are suicidal you truly believe with all of your being that you are worthless and that everyone you know would be better off if you weren't around. You feel hopeless and out of options. You are exhausted and cannot bear to face another day. You also have absolutely no control over these horrible feelings that just cycle around in your head, on repeat, all day everyday. It is an incredibly frightening place to be, and having been there, hearing that another human has succumbed to their vile inner demons makes my heart break in to a million pieces.
To the people who say, "you'll feel better tomorrow." Or, "why can't you just snap out of it?" I want to say this to you. You can fuck right off. You are not being helpful. Seriously. What you are actually doing is making that person that you are trying to "help" feel like a failure for not being able to "just snap out of it." To imply that someone can do something but just won't is just so super judgmental and not the right way to approach your friend/relative/co-worker who is walking around lost, vulnerable and really hurting.
The stigma needs to go. If there was no stigma maybe people who feel this hopeless would feel safe sharing their thoughts, fears and feelings with someone who could help them. But the tough thing about being suicidal is that you just don't care anymore and you certainly don't want any help. They are most likely not going to reach out to you. So if you know someone who is depressed and suicidal, or if you think someone you know is depressed and suicidal, or if you are just a kind person in the world who wants to arm themselves with the knowledge they need to face that situation in a positive way if they ever face it, educate yourself. Educate yourself on suicide, how it feels to be suicidal, warning signs and how you can help. Don't be judgmental, angry or frustrated. And always remember that mental illness is just that, an illness. A medical condition that those afflicted did not bring on themselves. A medical condition that requires professional medical treatment in order to get better. They are not weak, just sad or being dramatic. Please, please educate yourself. I will include some links to a few fantastic organizations for suicide prevention and suicide survivors. Start there and let it take you where you need to go so that you can be fully armed with actual facts and things you can do that can may actually help.
The memory of living through suicide will haunt me forever. And while the physical scars have healed, they will never totally disappear. But I am so thankful that I am here typing this today. With professional help, medication and a warm and loving support system of friends and family, my feelings of worthlessness and despair have become much more quiet. I actually look forward to living to see the next day.
If you are someone who needs help or if you know someone who needs help please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
Here are the links to some really great organizations.
Suicide Prevention Lifeline #BeThe1To
International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP)
Resources for suicide attempt survivors on the IASP
If you are someone considering suicide please know that you are not alone, you are important and help is available to you. No one will judge you and it IS possible to feel better. Please reach out to someone you trust or this hotline to start your journey of healing.
RIP
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| Kate Spade 1962-2018 |
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| Anthony Bourdain 1956-2018 |
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