Are You On Your List?

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

But what if it isn't?

The holidays can be a stressful time for most of us. There's shopping, entertaining, traveling, cranky kids, family without boundaries and work parties. It's a time of over-eating, over-spending and drinking too much. Expectations are always high and rarely met. People are disappointed and sometimes angry. As a result of all of this holiday stress, our spirits can go from merry and bright to depressed and dim in the blink of an eye.

Practising self-care during the holidays should be a the top of your to-do list. Taking time out of your busy schedule to take care of yourself is essential to your overall well-being, and is even more important during the holidays. I hate to break it to you but you are not a superhero. You cannot do it all. You need to care for yourself.

Think you don't have the time to practice a little self-care during this busy time? Well you would be wrong my friend. All you have to do is think simple and start small. Every little bit helps.

Learn how to say no. Since it is actually impossible for you to do it all, sometimes you will have to politely decline. Your time is special and shouldn't be spent on just anyone simply because they ask. Be mindful of your own needs and remember that it is not selfish to say no, it's responsible.

Don't beat yourself up over everything. So what if you only intended to eat one cookie but you ate three instead? Who cares if you have another eggnog? Stop over thinking that present that you gave. Push away the negative thoughts, make peace with your decisions, and love yourself. As long as you do everything in moderation and keep it healthy, stop worrying and just enjoy all that the holiday season has to offer.

Pick up an actual book and read it. Shut down your computer and put your phone down. Grab that book and curl up somewhere cozy and get lost in it. Please nothing self-help related. Choose something that speaks to your soul, and will whisk you away into your own little world.

Use journaling as an outlet for all of those thoughts running through your head that you can't voice out loud. You will feel so much better after you put pen to paper and unload every single thought.

Kiss your guilt goodbye. Usually you don't feel guilt because you are actually guilty. The "guilt" that you feel is more of a sadness over goals that weren't achieved, disappointments or regrets that you couldn't do more. Let those feelings go because they will only drag you down and make you feel awful.

Stay present and mindful. Commercialism has taken over our culture and the holidays can't escape that. There is such a huge focus on buying everyone the right gift that sometimes we can lose sight of what really matters. Instead of focusing solely on material things, remember to slow down and enjoy the people in your life. Enjoy the experiences. The memories of these special times will bring you more happiness in the long run.

Really embrace and truly feel your feelings. The holidays can bring up some strong feelings for people. Stress over expectations, spending time with people you may not want to, and family loses are just some of the scenarios that could cause difficult feelings to bubble up. If you are anything like me, your go-to is to reach for a drink or over-eat in an effort to numb the pain. Instead, try to remember that feeling uncomfortable, bummed or angry is natural this time of the year. If you actually confront your feelings and sit with them they become less scary.

Practice forgiveness. Sometimes seeing people we usually don't have to can cause hurt or disappointment to wash over you. In order to be truly happy this holiday season you will need to learn how to let go of grudges from past years. Just remember that forgiveness does not depend on another person's actions or words. You aren't forgetting or excusing the wrongdoing. It's about deciding to make peace with what happened so that YOU can feel better.

Last, take a few minutes to think of one thing that you feel good about or are grateful for right now. Focus on that for as long as you can. When you take a moment to stop trying to create the perfect holiday you are able to open up to enjoying the season just the way it is.