Goop Labs With Gwyneth Paltrow

Everyone's favorite health and wellness guru, Gwyneth Paltrow, has gifted us with another gem of a way to be appalled. Gwennie has recently released a six half-hour episode show called "Goop Labs With Gwyneth Paltrow." The show will premiere on Netflix on January 24, 2020. Each episode begins with Paltrow telling the courageous story of how she transitioned from an incredibly popular film star to an incredibly popular mogul. She also explains that the main goal of Goop, which she calls a "modern lifestyle brand, is "optimization of self." Are you rolling your eyes yet?

The episodes are framed by an interview where Paltrow and CCO Elise Loehnen discuss a different wellness-related topic with an expert in the field.

The feel of the show is somewhat clinical and features a ton of patient testimonials, or "case studies" as they are called on the show. There is also a frequent citation of research papers to back up the wild claims that they are making. I feel like they wanted the show to feel like they were giving you solid advice on how to improve your happiness, wellness and health, but truly it just feels like a big commercial for products that you can buy on Goop.

Each show does start with a disclaimer though:

"The following series is designed to entertain and inform-not provide medical advice. You should always consult your doctor when it comes to personal health, or before you start treatment."

Oh. Okay.

While it's nice that the show includes a disclaimer, I'm not sure some of the starry-eyed viewers and fans of GP will really pay much attention to it. In the wellness boom that we are currently living in, medical misinformation can be found everywhere. And people take that misinformation and use it to inform the decisions that they make regarding their health and wellness. They believe it, and buy the snake oil. And most of the time, they drink the snake oil without consulting their doctor. Sometimes wellness can be dangerous, and not taking the information from this show with a grain of salt isn't just dangerous, it's stupid.

I suggest watching the show for entertainment purposes. Have a good laugh at the ladies doing mushrooms to discover themselves or watch as Gwyneth goes on a "fasting mimicking" diet for five days in which she is only allowed to eat soup, tea and a daily nut bar and relish in the fact that you aren't doing that. Just don't be one of the many gullible Goop believers and fall under the "wellness" spell GP is trying to cast on you.

While we are talking about Gwyneth's kooky new show, I thought it would be fun to share some of the bananas products that you can buy on Goop.

First I would like to draw attention to a feature on the website called "A Peek Inside GP's Shopping Cart." So what has Gwyneth selected? Well you know, the essentials- wide leg trousers for $495.00, earrings for $7,520.00 and sandals for $725.00. The list is incredibly long and even though I scrolled down for what seemed like an eternity, I never did reach the end. But I did notice that there wasn't one thing "in her cart" that was under $200.00. But I guess if you have all of that GP money, it's all gravy baby.

So as you can see, shopping on Goop is nuts. The stuff is way expensive and there is nothing on the site that anyone truly needs. But Gwyneth swears that the products on Goop will take our mind, body and spirit to peak wellness regardless of how out of touch the products may seem. I guess a pair of $198.00 cashmere joggers can be life changing?

Let's do a lightening round of outrageous stuff that you can buy on Goop.

This Smells Like My Vagina Candle $75.00

I'm coming in hot with the first item. A 10.5 oz candle that costs $75.00 and smells like flowers. GP wouldn't have her vag smelling any other way.

The International Cookbook Collection $499.50

An investment for sure, but think of all of the exotic meals you will make for your family that they won't eat.

Classic Pocket Knife $265.00

For the classy knife carrier.

Dish Kit $60.00

A bougie sponge, brush and towel set to wash your dishes with.

Malibu Billiards Table $23,720.00

A real steal when you consider that it's a pool, ping pong AND dining room table.

Linea SO1 Gift Set $105.00

A lovely gift set of 50 incense sticks and a holder. FYI: I just bought a set of 84 incense sticks on Amazon for $7.58. And they aren't garbage.

No. 2 Toilet Paper $34.00

This pack of 24 rolls of toilet paper is $34.00 you guys.

Travel Mug $179.95

You know you are 100% going to leave this in your car and forget about it for weeks. And when you find it there will be a full garden of mold growing inside of it. Fancy.

Billy Sneakers

Theses were $740.00 buy are now on sale for $222.00. Since they are discounted, they are final sale. So you won't be able to return them when you realize that you aren't Billie Eilish and that you have no business wearing them.

I will leave you with one of my favorite pretentious things that Gwyneth Paltrow has said. She was once interviewed by a magazine and during the interview she referred to Billy Joel and "William Joel." She is never off brand is she?