Birthday Blues

Today is my 39th birthday and it seems like the older I get, the more depressed I get on my birthday. I can never put my finger on exactly why though. You would think that it would be because I am another year older, but I truly could care less about that.

So, that made me wonder why I get so depressed every year. I know that I am not the only one who gets a touch of the sads on their birthday, but why does this otherwise happy occasion bum us out? I did some research to try to answer this question and I discovered some interesting things.

Birthday expectations are one of the main reasons why people get so bummed out on their birthdays. Birthdays are a day for over-the-top celebrating, and we have this idea that the day needs to be big and exciting or it's a bust. This thought alone can cause stress and anxiety. Because what if nothing happens? Then what? What if no one does anything special for you? What if you don't have anyone in your life to shower you with birthday awesomeness? Does that make you a loser? No way. We are so hardwired to have these lofty expectations, but thinking in grandiose ways is a great way to make sure that you are disappointed on your birthday.

If you want to avoid being let down, speak your mind. People can't read minds and if you are in the mood to party, let the folks around you know. But don't over plan because too many plans can be stressful and could put additional pressure on you. When you keep it simple, you lower the risk of something going wrong.

Growing another year older makes people turn inward and think about their identity. Is this who we thought we would be at this age? Did you accomplish everything that you wanted to in the past year? If the answer is no, then that could trigger some feelings of sadness. Try to stay positive and focus your energy on what you have accomplished or how far you have come in the past year. Make peace with the things that you haven't done and commit to completing your list this year.

Don;t rely on others to create your happiness. You should make plans for yourself and consider anything from other people to be a bonus. Plan some self-care for yourself and create a schedule for the day of your birthday that keeps you busy so that you wont have time to wallow in your sadness. And if people forget your birthday, try to cut them some slack. Don't take it personally and know that the forgetful person is not trying to upset you intentionally.

Birthdays can be stressful and sad but they don't have to be. You have the power to shape your day and take control of your mood.

Now where's my cake.